BEIJING,May 8-- Is crying good therapy? Experts say yes. Having
a good weep at the weekend is becoming more and more popular among office
workers in China.
Guo Meng's story
"I need to cry to let my feelings out", said 23-year-old Guo Meng, a
smart-looking young woman who works in marketing for a department store at
Beijing's Zhongguancun.
"I negotiate advertising deals and am constantly on the phone to clients,"
said Guo Meng. "We make regular visits to customers to build up good relations,
and the department store checks the results to evaluate my performance." But
getting customers' trust is not always easy. "I get depressed if I put in a lot
of effort and get no results."
"I remember one day when I got home I felt so down but had no-one to talk
to about it so I just curled up with my teddy bear and cried myself to sleep,"
Guo said. The next day, she said, she felt much better and life seemed not so
bad after all.
Because crying is taken as a sign of weakness, people make a great show of
being strong and not displaying emotion. But Guo Meng advises people not to hold
back their tears. "Crying really relieves the pressure. You feel relaxed after a
good cry."
Wang Sha's story
Wang Sha works for an online games company, but the work isn't as much fun
as playing the games.
"What gets to me most is when I think I¡¯ve created a perfect game, but then
my boss tests it and finds a stupid mistake," said Wang Sha.
He feels under pressure every time he is given a new project. He listens to
mellow music on his earphones to prevent the tension building up but he also
admits to liking a good cry.
"I often cry when I watch a film. If it has a simple, moving story I just
burst into tears," said Wang Sha. "I find crying is a good way to relax, even if
it¡¯s not very manly."
Law of conservation of emotion
Guo Meng says the law of conservation of energy applies to emotions as
well. "Repression leads to emotional imbalance, and that makes you cranky.
Crying restores your emotional equilibrium," she said.
Office workers like Guo Meng and Wang Sha have formed a special therapy
group that encourages its members to express their emotions. They call it the
"cry group".
Psychologist Milulu says urban professionals who keep up a show of
toughness are hiding their softer, sentimental sides and this applies especially
to men, and women in senior positions.
People restrain their emotions for fear that crying in public may damage
their careers. But the same people may tearfully cuddle their dolls at midnight
or sneak off to a quiet place for a weep. Psychologists and medical
practitioners agree that crying is beneficial for mental health but people still
regard it as a sign of failure and bottle up their feelings.
Let the sadness go after the tears
dry
A famous Chinese author once said to cry is normal, and even brave. Those
who display their emotions can deal with their troubles bravely after the tears
dry while those who "soldier on" let problems fester.
The "Cry Bar" in the Chaoyang district of Beijing is a kind of Karaoke bar
for people who want to release their emotions. On the doors of each of its "cry
rooms" is a saying encouraging people let the tears flow freely.
The Cry Bar encourages its customers to look for happiness despite their
loneliness, to mix laughter with tears, and let singing bring a smile to their
faces. The "Cry group" say they feel better after a session here.
"Crying is a kind of therapy, but it needs some direction," said Milulu.
"People should realize the point of crying is to release pressure, but some of
the young people who come here simply sit and weep. The purpose of crying is to
make it easier to improve your life after the tears dry, not to wallow in bad
memories."
Crying is only one way of relieving pressure, and we need to face problems
squarely and solve them once the tears have dried, said Milulu.
(Source: china.org.cn)
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